i hate you -.-

I miss my lappie ): hahah , can only use on weekends. how sad T.T  but its okay, gotta study ler.  

hmmphhh , yesterday . School, was fine.  Had t stay back for science lesson, due to our latecoming t lessons -.- okay whatever.  Training afterwards.  Fitness & train :)  Coach was like training the Bdiv Cdiv  for todays's friendly . So was like slacking lo -.-  watch bball friendly with sandra. until 4, went up training end :x  Meet lover & watch bball tgt til 530 . Canteen, sat awhile then went t find falysha & nadhirah. Cheerup lysha ^^  Like what you said,  God will always be fair to us (:  he will give you a chance okeh!  haha. Slacked til 630, and walked home alone. was thinking of so much things ): 

Today, basically stayed at home lah . Completed my reasearch for D&T and Maths ^^  guai me ^^   bored max !  okay shutup. 

Bytheway, its boyfriend's birthday yesterday! Gosh, hes old T.T  haha. 

&, SHERRY'HAWTCANDYE 's birthday today ^^  finally shes 12 ! Stay happy always k ^^

you would never undertsand my feelings. 

its hard. its hard to smile when .. 

but i will faked a smile ,

even when its the end. (:  LOL.  

i just cannot stop myself from getting jealous -.- 

wtf. tsk. 

IMH.

HELLOS :)  Yeay, currently at Ryeongkuu's house posting ^^  Finally can use com lor! hahaha.


Monday
Hmm, kinda forget liaos.  Stayed back after schl or charity bazaar discussion. Ended at around 3plus ,  had lunch . home w {♥} :)  hahha act good only lar, send me home :p 

Tuesday
After schl, had selfstudy . then meet lover, pei her go do pw then lunch :)  jiajun was with us too. then he keep say i lightbulb -.- walau ehhh .  while pei-ing lover eat, chitchatted :) then jj go take my phone away ! :@ hahah .  pei them walk , then chase me away! So went t meet {♥} , and home! hehehe .


Today had dance workshop! Wa pathetic siak. only 7 of us went! Okeh, learn the indian dance. was superbbbbbb !! :D  had lots of fun while dancing ^^ especially when enbei dance, shes uber cute looo <3   hehekz.  Dance ended, home w {♥} again :)







( you made me miss us again ):  tsk.  i want to .. but .. )



Got to go !  going t have dinner ^^  ryeongkuu's mum cook for me !  hahaha . :x tata.

Tskk .. daddy told mummy to conviscate my laptop -.- 
might not be able to update . T.T  sian max !   

i kept thinking of you );

" Im gonna be okay , gonna be okay .. " 

Catheism class today ^^ lesby was sick, so met ryan then up to class together(:  Didnt listen t teacher chandra teaching, instead i listen t my songs :P Told ryan alot about my ex. haha (: hes like kinda surprised lor. && thanks hafiq for pei-ing me t text ^^ hehe. Walaoo got one gay go sit beside me, SOMEONE keep say he got crush on me -.-  hahah.  Jurongpoint w ryan, then went t meet ryeongkuu so separated w him . Met ryeongkuu, went t fairprice look for mummy. got my money, then say goodbye t daddy ): i felt so sorry ):  i didnt accompany daddy ):  tsk..   

BreakfastLunch @ FeastOfKopitiam.  Frontier t do hmwk (: yeay! i finished my literature & maths assessment. jp, to shop next .  Was in TS looking for albums, then got one small boy . he kept looking at me & ryeongkuu and like make noise -.-  i chuahh tio then walk off. he followed. then i walk farfar, he didnt follow ryeongkuu but me -.-  suddenly felt so scared, ran out of the shop & hide. and he came out t look for me lo! walaoo, scare die me ):    Today's the greatest shock of my life ):  almost fell down the escalator somemore. 

Ryeongkuu's house, then jp again w her mum. Her mum got me a bag! Same as ryeongkuu ^^ ohmygawwwd, im seriously so touched lo. home @ 4plus. 

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Im bored T.T

Swimming ^^v !   Met Ryeongkuu at around 3plus , headed t swimming complex. then swam for a lil while only. suddenly dont have the mood to swim . hahahah. anyyway, i kept bio-ing at guy's butt. :P idk why! heheheh :P  like so biantai only sia me :$  -.-   After swimming, went to ryeongkuu's schl nearby seveneleven, then swing t play awhile.  back t my second home, and i actually felt so touched by her mum. when i wanted t leave, her mum ask me to stay a lil while more. to eat her spaghetti ! omg, its yummy to the max ! :D  home @ 6plus 7 :)  

tsk im bored ttm ! T.T  someone text me lehhh . suddenly i feel so sad, i dontknow why.  

-

( when you said , you miss our past. what we used to did. I smiled, because i knew you still miss us. but, tears started flowing down, when the i thought of you're gone.  because i miss you real muchh );  its already the 12th day when you left. i cannot believe, that its already going to be two weeks that you're gone..  ) 

I miss you ):

You know you love someone when the mere thought of losing them brings you to tears. I've

 lost you.  But,  

I'm still holding on to something, that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it wont. 

Just because I moved on doesn't mean I won't be here if you change your mind.

everynight,  I stay up and think of you.. and I wish on a star that somewhere you're thinking of me, too. i really miss you alot. 

HelloHi ( :   shall update about yesterday bahh . haha.  

Yesterday, speech presentation during english period !  Someone filmed us! ^^   Okay, seriously laugh my ass off when it was our turn . Fauzan told the person to drop the pen, so he can start by appearing below from the table. so when he went up , he started speaking, then realised he didnt take the mike ! Whatthehellz man, me nad enbei falysha all below laughing like nobody's business lo. he quickly ask the person re start . haahah .  Okeh, when its my turn t present, i really cannot concentrate lo! The person who film , kept purposely at there smile smile make me lose concentration one! cause always see him, i also laugh at him dehh -.-   

Then lessons went on as usual , had out PE assessment for badminton . im sure gonna fail it lo -.-  im not in the mood to play .  tsk .   after schl had training. played ball awhile, then match -.-  was like fuck off lo . sandra too.  haha, so me & sandra slacked & chitchatted.  we took videos, which made us LAUGHMYBOOBSOFF ! hahahah, we created that . LOLOL!   rushed home after training, bathe & meet ryeongkuu . 

jp for lunch , then her mum's working place while . & rushed off t schl (: met nad at falysha's block, so waited w her . then schl! Assesmble at parade square , then hall . okehz, the talk started . was boring, but enbei say must enjoy first cause atleast got pictures :p cute only sia she! So i 'enjoyed' , then went off to toilet t slack w nad & falysha . yingyu & co. was there . then yingyu kept telling me his brother was his father -.- like i believe only.  omg, his brother seriously shuai! cheyy LOLZ :)   after talk, wanted t walk home w enbei, but she went home first ):   so send falysha home , meet suping then cage court with yingyu his brother joseph qiwen .  awhile, jp t train home (:  

haha my face like so retard only lo! -.-

hahah sandra took this , i dont know why . luckily dont have my part :)

hahaha,  my aiming very good lo . hehe :P LOL

me & enbei wore the malay costume. cute lo my enbei <3

alrights, shall end here. (:  buaibuai! Dont miss me :$  LOL.

going swimming later with ryeongkuu ^^   hahah .  should i go frontier tonight ? hmm . 

I dont wanna be alone , will you stay with me ..?

Late day today. But went schl early to meet clique t practice our dance . skipped dance yesterday, so they teach me the dance steps. okeh, its harddd ! T.T  I cant catch up looo . gotta practice moremore !  was raining this morning, so had t take bus!  Then SOMEONE said he will come fetch me, & bring one bigbig umbrella. ite leh! never -.- :'(    hahaha .  reached schl early, so went generaloffice. t wait for suping. then met huixin, so she also pei me wait . suddenly had a bad stomache :'( pain like whathefuck lor. like i just lost my child -.- must be enbei's child!  hahaha . okay , had english comprehension CA3 . i finished like in one period time when we have three periods time lo. Listen to song somemore :P  Science, did SPA test. Yayness! Can skip 3 periods of science lehhhhh . funfun^^  

Break , then was History & Geography CA3 . im gonna flunk geog for sure , or maybe both. I slept 20mins , for geog paper. & i dreamt of so much things. but too sad, i forgotten already :x   didnt stay back for pw, so went home. didnt walk home w my enbei , im sorry >;  i felt like walking home alone today..  so walked home alone, i walked like so aimlessly loo. i also dontknow where i was walking, but ite i still found my way (: LOLOL! & i met Ryeongkuu on the same road, but far away. She shouted my name & Iloveyou, like so shy only sia :$  supposed t meet sister at pioneer mrt cause forgot t bring key today.  so ryeongkuu accompanied me to eat first. hahaha she helped me reply my messages like so cute only lor!  Swing t slack w her, she kept complaining she wanna see him , she misses him alot. but she just dw text him!   then home @ 5 .

Im so fucking tired naoz !  but i wanna watch my show T.T   hahaha, got one kewtkewtPIG invite me to his party of sleeping with HAFIQ ! ._.  LaughMyAssOff only lor !  bhb sia, who want sleep with him! :P 

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Ohyah . its the 22th today ! Its my dearest falysha's birthday ^^ 

So shes finally 14! The youngest among our clique. haha.  Happy Birthday Dearest ^^  yknow, we knew each other since primary1.  its nice knowing someone like you. you never failed t cheer me up whenever im down. because of your cheerfulness, craziness & clumsiness !  Even though you may feel sad at times, but still you will smile. I wanna be strong like you, overcoming obstacles by smiling & laughing (:  Im glad that, we actually became such good & close friends this year. or maybe since lastyear.   haha.  thanks for everything you did for me kayz, thanks for supporting me. thanks for telling me what to do always. thanks for being my listening ear.  ily girlfriend <3 

I will SMILE =) Cause im accepting the fact (:

Mwhahaha!! Currently posting in dnt class using pingping's phone^^ boreeddd to the extreme max can! T.T gonna skip dance later on for volleyball training(: so guai right?! Hehehe. Tsk, morning wore Baku kebaya, ji paisley yi xia :$ cheyyyyyy~. I'm so hungry now! -.- alrights, not use to type using iPhone . Shall update more tonight if I can online.


( Everything was fated. If it's mine, it's mine. If it's not mine, I should let go. ' believe that everything happens for a reason, and do not give in to fate. '. I will accept the reality and stay strong. Because I believe everything I decide, its worth it. I shall not regret, because i know what its meant to be, its meant to be. and i know atleast you still care for me, & i still care for you. " if you love someone, let him go, & find his happiness. "  Yes, i hope you will find your true happiness ^^  As long as you're happy, im happy too (:  I will SMILE , even though i cannot let go, and i cannot forget US.  But i will keep everything as memories. I will not hate you, cause i believe you're the one i love, & it will never change. )




(EDIT) 


 After school, wanted t go for training. But lover skipping her dance, so i pei her (:  i know im very good to her (:  Went to find pinkiat, then jurongpoint. Accompany go find his ring! Hahaha, we in the shop so long lo!  kkz, then we walk back to schl . cause lover wants to find her baby. Ite, her baby wasnt in schl . haiyo! So slacked at canteen , talktalk. home at around 5plus .  Then meet Ryeongkuu! Ahhhhhh like finally we met after weeks!  LOLZ :)  She pei me makan dinner at coffee shop , haha and she lend me money too . Cause i was broke! T.T  Swing t play awhile & home. hahah finally we can have a good talk lor.  I had alot to tell her , when she was sick ._.  She very bad lor, fall sick when i needed her so badly :'(    


Had fun today ^^ especially with lover! Shes so hyper today, i dontknow why ! & she made me hyper too. hahahaha :)  






( tsk . im such a failure . i couldnt cope well in everything ):  studies, family, relationships & friendships. ):   such a sudden, i cannot cope. i realise i've been neglecting my friends. i've been pangseh-ing them for other friends. but i didnt want it . everyone's my friend. i wont pangseh anyone. but to you, it may seems that im pangseh-ing you. i talked to you, but you ignored me. i apologize to you that i didnt went with you,  you told me you wasnt angry. but everything you do, i can see you're angry with me. why wont you tell me , if i did something wrong. I dont want any quarrels between us. cause i dont wanna lose any friends. ) 






Goshhh, i really hate myself alot T.T  i didnt knew i would be like this. i dont know what happened to me. i felt that i've changed.